In order to connect to our sexual pleasure centers more, we first start tot look at where they are and what they look like. After that, we’ll start to explore what they feel like. I will use a few images from a book ‘The Pelvic Pain Clinic’ written by fellow somatic sex educators and teachers Shauna Farabaugh and Caffyn Jesse which I find very helpful and I can strongly recommend you to read the whole book. ‘The Pelvic Pain Clinic’ describes the ins and outs of the pelvis, genitals and how they work together with the rest of the body, playing a role in the pleasurable or painful sensations we can experience and contains lots of practical tips to connect with this important area in the body that we often tend to forget.

I will first show and walk you through some visuals of the pelvic bones and muscle structures. After that I will show more about the genital anatomy and how penises and vaginas have more similarities than you might think.

There will be extra resources that I refer to as recommendations for further learning under the last topic ‘Extra’ in this module.

The bony pelvis

Here we see an image of the bony parts of the pelvis. The pelvis connects the spine to the legs. It supports and balances the spine and upper body and gives support to the intestines, the bladder and internal sex organs. And it is the home where sexual energy is gathering and from there can be spread through the body.

We can see the ear-shaped sides of the bones. Perhaps you can start to feel them with your hands, by placing your hands in your waist, feeling where the edge of the bone is. Try to follow the bone from the sides towards your lower back. Feel where the bone is sticking out more in the lower back, you might feel these two bumps, one on each side. Next to the bumps you might feel a dent that you can feel. Then travel to the tailbone, right where the buttocks start and then move up towards the sacrum. We can also easily feel the sits bones of the pelvis. You can try to feel them one side at a time by sitting on your hand and move your hips and you butt over your hand. See if you can feel a bit deeper by hooking your fingers around the edge of the bone. Feel if you can follow the bone towards the front all the way to the groin and your pubic bone on the front. Then switch sides and do the same. Also feel where your legs are connected to your hips, although this might be more difficult to feel. Great! you just explored your bony parts of the pelvis! In between the bones you can see a cavity, which is convenient because this is where poop and urine have to leave the body for instance. The intestines and organs don’t fall out of this cavity because of muscles in the bottom of the pelvis: the pelvic floor.

The Pelvic Floor

Now let’s take a look at the pelvic floor. Here we see the body from the top, looking at the pelvic muscles which hang between the bony parts of the pelvis. You can see several layers of muscles here. On the second image we see the pelvis from the bottom perspective, again seeing different layers of muscles, the fibers of the muscles laying in different directions. And in between each layer there is fascia, shown as the white tissue, this is the sticky membrane that works like flexible glue and helps to let muscles and layers of tissue in the whole body move and slide alongside each other smoothly. We can start again to feel our own pelvic floor from the outside with our hands. You can start to feel on one side where your sits bone is and hook your fingers around it on the inside. Now you can push a little bit more with your fingers, into the sides and around and into the perineum. This is where you can feel the muscles of your pelvis, they might be a bit more dense than the skin on top of it. You might also feel the pressure from the inside in the muscles and just like in other muscles in the body, they can feel more or less tensed.